Hidden Feelings
by scrapmom
Summary: Reid and Emily are working together on a case.  While Reid studies the map, Emily studies him!
1. Watching

Hidden Feelings

A/N This is my first Criminal Minds story. I've written a few for Moonlight and In Plain Sight previously, and just recently became a fan of Criminal Minds. I just finished watching Season 6 and have not seen any episodes of Season 7 yet, so I have no idea how Emily came back or what happened. I'm just using my creative imagination.

This actually started out as a fun, humorous one-shot, but apparently, my muse had something else in mind, so I just went with it. It looks like I may have 3 or more chapter. The first is Emily's POV and the second is Reid's. Not sure about the rest yet, as it's not written! Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1

Watching

She loved to watch him when he was like this. In the zone, they called it. And now, it gave her the perfect opportunity to reacquaint herself with him. Her eyes began their journey at his shoulders. He had shed his jacket moments ago, which is what caught her attention. Were his shoulders always that broad, she wondered?

Her eyes followed each ripple of his muscle as he mapped out the unsubs route on the board. He paused to roll up his sleeves, giving her a view of his bare forearms, and suddenly her mouth went dry. Was it getting hot in here? She allowed her mind to imagine what it would be like to see him without that crisp purple shirt obstructing her view. Using his forearms as a guide, she imagined his skin, pale, yet soft. In her mind, she trailed her hand up his arm slowly, ending at his shoulders. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his neck, breathing in his scent and tasting him.

She moaned, startling herself. All the blood rushed to her face as she looked around frantically to see if anyone else heard her. Realizing they were the only two in the room, she allowed herself to breathe again, and continued her visual exploration of her colleague. Her gaze drifted from his shoulders down his long back, and she wondered what it would be like to scrape her fingernails down his torso. Her mind slid back in to her fantasy, where he was shirtless in front of her, but this time, she was lying on a bed, and he was looking down at her. She shivered in anticipation, letting her gaze devour his chest, causing her to feel warm in places other than her cheeks.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. Stop this, she thought to herself. This is Reid. He's our young genius, not some hot random guy to be listing after. Ok, maybe he's not random, but he's definitely hot. Wait, what? Reid, hot? She turned her head to watch him again, this time allowing her gaze to slip lower, to his well-rounded back side. Hmmm, my hands would fit perfect around that...she imagined turning him around to face her, then pushing him up against the board and grabbing that sweet little ass and pulling him against her to see if he felt what she was feeling.

Her stomach was doing flip-flops as she imagined his surprise as she grabbed him and pressed his hardness against her. As her eyes continued their feast of his backside, her imagination moved to his lips, preferably attached to hers.

_She walked up behind him and whispered his name in his ear, her warm breath caressing his cheek. He was startled, and turned around quickly, but not fast enough for her. She pushed him up against the wall and molded her body to his. His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak, but again, she was too quick, grabbing his face in her hands and attaching her mouth to his before he could make a sound. Her lips were hard, and demanding, wanting access to his mouth. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip, but he was still in shock and did not allow him the access she craved. Not feeling patient, she bit down on his bottom lip, causing him to open his mouth, and she slid her tongue in and took control of his warm, welcoming mouth. Dream Reid realized what was happening, and began to kiss her back with intensity. Noticing the change, she moaned, and slid her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, if possible._

"That's it!" He cried, excitedly, bringing Emily out of her very erotic daydream and back to the squad room, where the two of them were supposed to be working. She jerked, and almost fell off the chair she had been sitting on, and Reid turned around at the sound and looked at her with a confused expression, his cell phone already at his ear. "Garcia, hey, I think I figured it out…"

He continued to explain his though process to Garcia, but Emily couldn't hear what they were saying, because the blood was pounding so hard in her ears. Once he turned around and his eyes met hers, she felt all the blood rush to her head, and knew her cheeks were already 10 shades of pink. Oh God, she thought. He's a profiler, and he has to know that I was looking at him. She dropped her gaze to the floor, and noticed that she also had some wetness seeping out between her legs. At that realization she got up quickly, while he was still occupied with his theory, and made her way out of the room to the stairway. She took the stairs up and found herself in front of the door to the roof. Pushing the door, she walked out into the night, relishing the cool breeze on her warm face. She walked to the edge of the building and looked out into the city below.

Oh man, she thought. What am I doing? She took deep breaths to try to calm her body's reaction to the daydream she had downstairs. Sure, she had missed him when she was gone. She had missed them all. But, if she was being honest with herself, she did find that she thought about Reid more than the others. And when she returned, the sadness, mixed with relief, on his face made her want to take him in her arms and never let him go. She longed to hold him, kiss his face, run her hands though his hair, and tell him that she was so sorry for deceiving him. She knew he had been hurt by her 'fake' death, probably more than the rest of the team. With his incredible intelligence, he understood her reasoning for leaving and not telling the team, but that didn't stop his huge heart from breaking, thinking that she was gone forever.

She braced her hands on the ledge, feeling the roughness under her fingers, and took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears in her eyes from falling. She was unsuccessful, and two tears slid down her cheeks and landed quietly on her shirt. Raising her head, she looked up to the sky, covered in stars, and thought back to her time in Paris. Every night she would sit on the balcony of her room and look out at the sky, thinking of home and her team. After time, she began to have dreams about Reid. Sure, she dreamt about the rest of her team, but her dreams of Reid were more detailed, more intimate. The first time she woke up after an incredibly real dream, she actually rolled over and looked beside her to see if he was there. When she realized it had been a dream, she buried her face in the pillow and cried.

Somehow, in the months that she was away, those feelings for Reid grew stronger. She longed to look at him across the desk, and watch him study his reports, his hair hanging in his face. He consumed her thoughts during the day, and her dreams as she slept. When she finally returned, she assumed those thoughts would diminish, but they didn't. If anything, they grew stronger. It became harder and harder for her to keep these feeling hidden, especially being in a room full of profilers. If they questioned her, she would just say she was still adjusting to being back. They believed the lies, for now, but it was only a matter of time until they realized what was going on with her. Her tears continued to fall as she stared at the stars, her mind still in the past. She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the door behind her open, then close gently.


	2. Feeling Betrayed

Hidden Feelings

A/N Well, I hope you are all enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. As I said before, I haven't seen any of Season 7, so I have no idea how anyone actually reacted to Emily being back. This is just my muse telling me how she wished it would have gone! I love all the characters, but Reid is my favorite. He's just so innocent, but can also be quite bad ass when he wants to be. I think the team underestimates him a lot, and he seems to be ok with it most of the time. But in this fic, he shows a little of the forceful Reid we all love to see! Thanks for reading!

Chapter 2

Feeling Betrayed

Reid watched Emily's face flush, and noticed her eyes were dark and intense, as he looked at her questioningly. He had to relay the information he uncovered to Garcia, then he planned to find out what was wrong with Emily. If he didn't know better, he'd think she was turned on. But how could that be? It was just the two of them in the room and they hadn't even been talking. He wasn't the kind of guy who could turn a girl on by just looking at them. That was Morgan's territory, not his. He was the 'boy genius,' the 'kid.' He had no sex appeal what so ever. That didn't help him from wishing it were true, especially where Emily was concerned. When Emily joined the team, she scared him. She was so confident and sure of herself; the complete opposite of him.

The intimidation he felt caused him to push her away during the time he was dealing with his addiction. He was worried the team would find out, and didn't want them to see him as weak, so he pushed them all away, but he was harder on Emily than the rest. His feeling for her had started right away, and so pushing her away was easier than dealing with them. After the case with Cyrus, where she copped to being the FBI agent, his respect for her skyrocketed, and his self esteem plummeted. She told him it was her choice, and he told her he understood, but he didn't. In his eyes, he assumed she saw him as weak, and that hurt him more than he cared to admit. But, she showed so much strength and character that day, that Reid realized he was falling for her. He felt like he could confide in her, and he did. He told her about his headaches, and even though it was impossible, he actually felt better after telling her. Then, Doyle came into the picture, and everything changed. He learned a lot about her past, but wanted to hear everything from her. He wanted her to open up to him, let him take some of her burden. But, before he could make his move, she was gone. And he was just a shell of the man he was. Her 'death' affected him in ways he wasn't expecting. Sure, he had been through his share of heartache. His dad left when he was young, leaving him to care for his mom by himself. He had to take care of himself, and make the heart wrenching decision to put his mom in the Sanitarium.

Then there was Gideon. He was his mentor. More of a father to Reid than his own, Gideon took Reid under his wing and got him his position at the BAU. Over the years, the team worked so close together and spent so much time together, they realized they were a family; there for each other when their real families couldn't be. Many of the cases became personal, and when Gideon lost Sarah, he gave up and left. And Reid felt betrayed and lost. Sure, he still had the rest of his 'family,' but Gideon was his rock, and he just walked away.

With Emily, though, it wasn't her choice. She fought with everything she had to keep her current team safe from Doyle, but she was not successful. Or so they thought. In the waiting room, that fateful night, when JJ came out and told them that Emily didn't make it, Reid literally stopped breathing. He felt his heart stop beating, and almost passed out, before quickly hugging JJ, trying to keep his emotions under control. He was able to tough it out until he got home, and then he let it all out, pushing everything off the counter onto the floor, throwing his badge at the wall, and sobbed loudly. His eyes glanced to the bookshelf in the corner, and he made his way over to it, grabbing the picture frame off the shelf and studying it through his tears. It was a picture of the team, laughing. It was from the previous years Christmas party. Morgan was giving Reid bunny ears, Garcia was wearing an elf hat and holding mistletoe over Morgan's head, Emily & JJ had their arms around each other (both having had a little too much wine), Rossi was wearing a Santa hat that Garcia had bestowed upon him, while Hotch stood over to the side, smirking at his dysfunctional family. He brushed his fingers over Emily's face, through the glass, and slid down the wall while deep sobs escaped him, and held onto the frame like it was his lifeline.

He tried to keep his feelings hidden, and believed he did. The team was all devastated over the loss of their partner and friend, so it wasn't difficult. When she returned, though, Reid was a jumble of emotions. He was overjoyed that she was actually alive, but was so hurt that he believed she was dead for so long. Of course, he understood why she had to pretend to be dead, but that didn't lessen the pain. He actually had to force himself to smile the first day she was back at her desk. There was a part of him that felt betrayed. He loved her, and she let him believe she was dead…for months. How could he look at her the same way? He tried to avoid being alone with her, at first, because he didn't trust himself not to yell at her, and ask her who she thought she was, doing that to him. Of course, he was also afraid he might grab her by the shoulders and kiss her until she couldn't breathe. Neither one was an option, so he just stayed away.

If she noticed, she didn't let on, but Hotch seemed to notice the tension, making sure to pair her up with Morgan or Rossi whenever he could. He knew her 'death' had affected Reid more than the others, and he felt so guilty every morning when he saw the dark circles under the boys eyes, a sign he had not only been crying, but also hadn't slept. Hotch wanted to tell Emily, but knew it was hard enough for her lying to her team, and she didn't need any extra guilt. She had to have all her wits about her to stay one step ahead of Doyle.

Time went on and things seemed to return to normal with the team. They were all back together again. Emily back from the 'dead,' and JJ back from the DOD. Reid began to settle back into his old routine, and began to feel more comfortable around Emily. He knew he would have to discuss his feelings with her one day, but he hoped it wasn't soon. He wasn't one for discussing 'feelings,' but when he saw her face flush, and she bolted from the room, he knew now was the time. He finished his call with Garcia, and immediately called Hotch, filling him in on the information, as well. Closing his phone and sliding it back into his pocket; he took a deep breath and started toward the stairs. He knew she would go up. She loved a good view, it always helped her breathe when things became too much. So, he took the stairs, two by two, climbing closer and closer to his destiny.


	3. Surprises

Hidden Feelings

A/N Sorry for the delay! I hope it was worth the wait. I appreciate all the comments and story alerts! I love when Reid speaks up and takes control. It's so sexy! Who agrees? Let's see which Reid will come out today?

Chapter 3

Surprises

He slid through the door quietly, not wanting to startle her and what he saw stopped him in his tracks. She was standing by the ledge, looking up toward the sky, as if asking for answers. As he started to move forward toward her, her gentle sob stopped him. It was then he noticed the tears on her cheeks, shining in the moonlight. He felt as though his heart was being squeezed inside his chest, and was having a hard time breathing. It seemed like time froze as he stood and watched her. His heart ached for her. He had been so wrapped up his own feelings, he didn't stop to think what this ordeal must have done to her. Pushing his own hurt aside, he moved toward her; his only thought was taking away her pain.

When he got closer, he whispered her name to make her aware of his presence. She jumped, and spun around, facing him quickly before turning her back to him again, not wanting him to see her so vulnerable. "What do you want, Reid?" She asked, trying to put some strength in her voice, but failing.

"I-I just wanted to make sure you were ok." he stuttered.

"I'm fine," she lied, unconvincingly. "Go on back down stairs, and I'll be down shortly. I just needed some fresh air."

"Emily, did I do something to make you upset?" He asked, not sure he really wanted to hear her answer.

She made a sound and he wasn't sure if it was a laugh or a sob, or both. He heard her mumble something to herself, and all he could make out was the work 'idiot.' Any resolve he had in confronting her and talking things out crumbled when he heard that, thinking she was talking about him. His head bowed and his shoulders slumped slightly as he started to leave. She felt the change in his demeanor immediately, and berated herself. "Reid," she turned to face him, and saw his head still down, his gaze apparently very focused on a spec of dirt on the ground.

Seeing him look so defeated gave her pause. She knew he was upset with her, and had been since she had been back. She would catch him looking at her in the office, with sadness in his eyes. Deceiving him had been hard, not only because of her feelings for him, but also because of everything he had been through already. She felt horrible, and wished there had been another way, but there wasn't. She knew he was avoiding her, and it broke her heart. That's why she had been so happy today, when he asked her to stay behind with him to help with the geographical profile. It was the first time since she had been back that they had worked together as partners. Then, she had to go and let her heart take over. Who was she kidding? Watching him today had nothing to do with her heart.

All she wanted to do was jump him, right then and there. God, why did he have to be so damn cute? Even when he was upset with her, she couldn't stop herself from watching him, and resisting the urge to run her fingers through his unruly hair, or kiss his coffee flavored lips. So today, when he was actually talking to her again, she could control her urge to touch, but not to look. What was she, a sex-crazed teen ager? You would think so by the content of her dreams. And Dr Spencer Reid was the star of each and every one.

So, here she is, on the roof, wiping her tears away and looking at the object of her affection, and what is she thinking about? What his lips taste like? Oh man, she thought, I need therapy.

Without realizing she had moved, she was standing in front of him, close, but not touching. "I'm sorry Reid," she tried. "It's been a long day and I just needed some space." He visibly flinched at her words, and she realized how they sounded to him. "Shit," she whispered. "Reid, listen, I didn't mean that like it sounded. I was just feeling a little cooped up, and needed some fresh air. Really, I'm fine now. Let's go back down stairs, ok?"

After months of thinking she was dead, and weeks after that wasting time being upset with her, he finally made a decision. "No," he said, looking up at her with a surprisingly confident look.

Her eyebrows shot up and she was momentarily stunned by his answer.

Using her silence as an incentive, he continued, "Look, we need to talk."

"Reid…" she started, but he interrupted.

"Don't give me that authoritative voice. You and I both know we have some unspoken issues to deal with, and I, for one, am sick of us dancing around and acting like everything is fine, when we both know it's not." He took a deep breath, before continuing. "So, we are going to go downstairs and wait for the team. Garcia found the unsub's address, and Hotch and Rossi went to pick him up. Once they are back, and things are wrapped up, you and I are going to go someplace quiet and air this out."

Emily looked at him with a slightly stunned look. Where did this confidence come from, she wondered. She didn't care, actually, because it was sexy as hell. As he watched her facial expression change, it was his turn to be shocked. Her expression went from stunned to turned on? Was that possible? He was looking into her eyes, and noticed how they darkened, just like they had downstairs, and her pupils were dilated, which is a sign of attraction. Why was she looking at him like he was something to eat? He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He needed to get more sleep. The idea of Prentiss being attracted to him was absurd. Beyond absurd, really. Who was interested in him? Especially someone as beautiful and confident as Emily. What could someone like her see in him? He was in awe of her everyday, even when he was upset with her. And right now, the way she was looking at him, made him want to kiss first and ask questions later.

The two just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, neither moving, until Reid's cell phone went off, making them both jump. He reached into his pocket, taking a deep breath before flipping open his phone. "Reid here." He looked up at her when he answered, but Emily avoided eye contact. She kept her gaze on his phone, held to his ear, acting like she was trying to listen, when actuality, her mind was focused on his long, beautiful fingers, holding the phone with so much force she was afraid he might crack it.

"Great. We'll see you soon." He flipped the phone closed and addressed her again. "They found him, drunk and passed out on his couch. He's on the way to the precinct without incident."

She sighed, clearly relieved the arrest was so smooth. Usually there was much fanfare with their takedowns, that when they had an easy one, they were all grateful. "Hotch said the locals would take it from here, so we are supposed to pack up and meet them at the airport." he finished. "Try to get some sleep on the plane, because once we're back, we are going to have that talk." he said, leaving no room for argument. Emily felt a tingle spread through her body at the tone of his voice. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and followed him off the roof and back to the station to pack up.


End file.
